A Long Time Coming

The bottom of my coffee was a long time coming today. I suppose that's a side-effect of parenting three children in the middle of the summer. I knew three kids would be busy. I don't think that needs mentioning in the job description. It's implied. I knew, going in, that there would be many days where I didn't get to the end of my cuppa joe much less take a shower. That said, I don't think I was prepared to feel so intensely. Intensely about what exactly? Isn't that the question.

Love for my children.
Pride in their accomplishments.
Pure joy in their amazing presence.
Gratefulness for how much they teach me about patience, grace and humility.
Anxiety about their struggles. Guilt for those moments when I have failed them.
Worry for the their futures.

Today was a day for reflection. A group of moms met at the park. We chatted. I don't think they realize how much I took away from that conversation. The intensity with which we feel, as parents, is incredible. The wide range of emotions from love and joy to core-shaking anger and guilt is something I didn't fully appreciate was a common theme that is woven through the days and weeks of many of the other parents that I know. It was strangely comforting to know that I am not alone. Wow, children can really make us feel this intensely. Akin to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

What I found at the bottom of that cup today was a better understanding of my own experiences in the context of the parenting community. Self-awareness is priceless. For that, I am grateful.